"I can't believe you said that! Apologize to the entire continent of England!"

biscuiteatingsob (10:51:14 PM): (PSST ARE YOU THERE?)
theformerclarity (10:52:01 PM): (IS IT YOU, MARGARET?)

Customer service: This is actually an eBay line, I don't have access to the half.com numbers, but I have a direct email that they'll respond to within 24 hours.
Julia, deadpan: I'd honestly prefer a phone number, because based on their track record, I'd get that email back in about a month.
Customer service: ...oh. I don't have a phone number.
Julia: Oh, the industrial revolution hasn't hit half.com yet? Do they have a telegraph? A Pony Express?

biscuiteatingsob (10:53:38 PM): ...one of the letters on RedEye tonight? Ends with "PS: Have you heard of Colorado? We have mountains."
theformerclarity (10:53:52 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAH
theformerclarity (10:55:10 PM): I'm making that my Facebook status
biscuiteatingsob (10:55:17 PM): Good plan!
biscuiteatingsob (10:55:21 PM): I'll tweet it.
biscuiteatingsob (10:55:32 PM): ...I feel horribly first-world right now.
theformerclarity (10:56:01 PM): ...haaaa, me too. But then, we should have felt first world when we thought we had swine flu as we watched 80s sitcoms.
biscuiteatingsob (10:56:17 PM): ...good point.

theformerclarity (10:52:53 PM): I just love how cracktastic GG is.
theformerclarity (10:53:07 PM): It was the 80s. The writers could have easily been on crack.
biscuiteatingSOB (10:53:17 PM): ...it's true, it really really is.
biscuiteatingSOB (10:53:22 PM): We should form an investigative panel!
theformerclarity (10:54:07 PM): Yes! And when it's revealed, after painstaking trials and research, that the writers were indeed on crack, we stand up, remove our glasses and go, "'kay. Is there wireless here?"
biscuiteatingSOB (10:54:43 PM): ....god, I hope we never are on any important panel for anything.
biscuiteatingSOB (10:54:47 PM): Or elected to public office.
biscuiteatingSOB (10:55:11 PM): Altho CSPAN would be far more amusing - they ban electronics and shit there, so we'd be, like, playing ping-pong.
biscuiteatingSOB (10:55:14 PM): Or sleeping.
theformerclarity (10:55:44 PM): Or I'd be smoking, and you'd be singing under your breath, "Firetruck, firetruck, I wanna ride in a firetruck"
biscuiteatingSOB (10:56:04 PM): ...god, yes.
theformerclarity (10:57:58 PM): They'd be like, "There's no smoking...or creepiness...allowed in Congress!" And I'd point to Mitt Romney. "Okay, true. Fine, carry on."

I'm joining elite_hogwarts, and you should too!

theformerclarity (12:42:38 AM): Now, what if you make multiple accounts on Netflix and send the movies to your work and your parents' house or something? Then you'd get 3 free DVDs!
biscuiteatingSOB (12:42:50 AM): *gasp*
biscuiteatingSOB (12:42:54 AM): And they would go bankrupt!
theformerclarity (12:43:04 AM): And you'd have 3 free DVDs!
biscuiteatingSOB (12:43:17 AM): ...good point. Let's do it!

Julio (11:24:52 PM): We all live for the cowbell part of the theme song, amirite?
Me (11:25:06 PM): Oh, definitely.
Julio (11:25:17 PM): I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.
Me (11:25:42 PM): *pats shoulder* Try taking some Advil and a nap, I bet that would help too.
Julio (11:26:07 PM): No! No, cowbell is what I need!
Me (11:26:27 PM): Try the damn advil first!
Julio (11:26:45 PM): No! Why take four advil when you can take one cowbell?
Me (11:27:02 PM): Because you'd look like a damn fool!
Julio (11:27:25 PM): Shut your whore mouth!
Julio (11:27:32 PM): (wtf is this conversation)
Me (11:27:38 PM): (god I don't know)

(10:29:24 PM) Me: Oi, what's on?
(10:30:17 PM) Julia: Oi, I'm not sure gov'na! I reckon we'd best hit Buckingham Palace, and then go to hospital and university! Bloody 'ell 'arry!

(11:23:35 PM) biscuiteatingSOB: I'm just glad I exited the site. Because who the hell needs 25 versions of messy handwriting fonts?!
(11:26:22 PM) theformerclarity: Michael J Fox, that's who!
(11:26:32 PM) theformerclarity: If he wants it to match his real handwriting!
(11:26:52 PM) biscuiteatingSOB: ...*headdesk*

Long time no talk, LJ! That's what happens when you break your damn laptop screen, I suppose. But now I have time (read: hours upon hours) to kill at an airport, so I shall blog!

I'll be trying JulNoWriMo again this year, but I can't decide what to write. I could work on one of my fanfics - they allow previously started stories. But I once again feel the urge to write something original and possibly publishable. BUT I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS!

1. iFiles - the FBI's squad that investigates the far reaches of the Internet (read: there's an Agent 4chan). I have a full cast list and vague plot for this, but I honestly think it would work better as a comic than a story.

2. This dream I had the other night - sort of a Harry Potter/Animorphs/Obernewtyn fusion. There's an 'information night' for a new academy of the best and brightest (it would be set in a slightly dystopic future), and after all the children and teens arrive, the "teachers" essentially either seduce them to the dark side, or imprison them. A small group, in their panic, activate previously unknown abilities, and shift into an animal form. From there, they go on the run as the academy enslaves the entire island (think more England size than Hawaii size). They can only do one animal - there's four girls, who shift into a bear, a snake, an owl, and an eagle - bear!girl is immediately captured due to the size of her animal, and eagle!girl learns to shift into other bird forms eventually. There's three boys - a mouse, some sort of weasel-type creature that's bigger than a ferret but smaller than a badger (I'm currently thinking meercat), and... I'm not sure what the last boy is. Monkey, maybe.

3. Dmitri Jones, Henchman - I recently rediscovered what I've written for this series, and realized it's kindof awesome, so I'm thinking about picking it back up.

4. A Gallowsverse story, set between the two prequel short stories and Gallow's Humor, in which Ryan is set on the trail of an escaped Death Row inmate and hilarity ensues.

5. The Secret School - fantasy story set in a world similar to Dmitri, but a little less slapstick. Centering on the goings-on of a school for the 'darker' side of things - assassins, thieves, spies, bodyguards, etc.

...having typed all that out, I gotta say that I'm leaning towards #5.

...nuttymadam made it onto the Soup.

I may have just put together a document with every mention of Zacharias Smith in the last three HP books. Just, uh, so you know.

EDIT: For everyone's reference, it's here.

When you see this, post a little weensy excerpt from as many random works-in-progress as you can find lying around. Who knows? Maybe inspiration will burst forth and do something, um, inspiration-y.

( Five Things I've Been Working On )

And now, to translate my recommendations journal to del.icio.us.

...they just mentioned Twilight on the spelling bee.

...Tom Bergeron is commentating.

I just spent forever and a day (read: three hours) working on my room. Went through half the shit between my door and my desk. I'd tell you all that I found, but, uh, it's a lot of shit. So I'll just mention the eleven action figures (5 LotR, 1 Animorphs, 5 Doctor Who) and three 20Q (TV, Sports, HP). And, of course, a collection of my early works which make me want to hide my head in shame. And, as I do with most things that shame me, I feel like sharing with you!

First, there's my 6th grade paper on the Yukon Territory that somehow managed an A, even though the actual written content is maybe a page long - everything else is just random tables I pulled off of the Internet the night before it was due. Yes, indeed, my slacker procrastinating ways started quite long ago.

Then comes my hastily put-together "book of figurative language" from my 6th grade poetry unit in Language Arts, entitled 'Figuratively Speaking'. All of the poems were pretty much horrible and done very quickly (reproduced exactly as found):
( Birds )
( Sam the Salamander )
( Onomatopoeia )
( Alliteration )
( Him )

Next up: a story written August 10th, 1998, about a month before I turned nine (so, fifth grade, I think - damn you year round schooling!). As a warning, pretty much all of 4th and 5th grade I used Animorphs and Star Wars names for my original characters.
( Magic Doves )

And finally, from way back in third grade, we have my ancient Egyptian fairy tale. No, srsly. I as about six or seven, so it's... kinda special. Once again, everything is typed as originally written.
( The War and the trick. )

Iiiii... kinda love that last story, I gotta say. Just for the sheer wtf-ery.

So apparently I'm retarded.

Went to see Star Trek tonight, it was awesome. So when we got home I decided to look up the movie website and see what games they had. Well, one was this: http://www.addictinggames.com/spotlight/startrek.html

Yeah. I went through everything... and got the rank of Crewman 1st Class. Ouch, guys, ouch. Of course, it didn't help that it took me for-freakin'-ever to do all of the 'spot the differences' tests. I did good on the 'shoot the pirates' and the 'don't let the unstable atom touch the sides', which is probably the only reason I didn't just totally flunk out.

...not that this is entirely inaccurate for Starfleet!me. I mean, c'mon. You gotta have, like, skills and shit for that.

On another note, I feel the urge to learn to fly planes now. Yeeeah. That'll end, how do we say, BADLY.

Too much fish w/malt vinegar. Am possibly dying.

( Spoilers! )
Lee (9:50:18 PM): (Ahahaha, that commercial! "Sir, unless the bomb is committing a crime, there's nothing we can do.")
Julia (9:52:25 PM): (Everybody Hates Chris is actually a really good show. I watched the first season. There was, "In labaratory projects, scientists give mice cheese. In the Brooklyn Projects, the government gives people cheese." And the dad, when milk is spilled, get down on his knees looking at it, saying, "Look at this! This is 15 cents worth of milk! Someone is licking up this milk!")
Lee (9:52:44 PM): (So... your dad, basically?)
Julia (9:52:55 PM): (That's exactly what me and my mom and my sister yelled)
Julia (9:55:02 PM): In fact, just yesterday, my mom spilled some nuts, and my dad was like, "That's $4 of nuts." Mom: I'm sorry, it just slipped. Human error. Dad: Yeah, but now I'll have to buy more nuts so you can spill them. Me: Four dollars worth, exactly. Guess we'll have to skimp on chicken broth. Dad: *grumble*

colin_chaotic (8:50:19 PM): Huh. The LJ writer's block for today is 'how long could you survive by yourself in the wild?' It's a good question. I'm thinking... two hours, tops.
no_kant_no (8:50:35 PM): ...it would depend on where.
no_kant_no (8:50:57 PM): ...actually, nvm, I'd die anywhere.
colin_chaotic (8:51:15 PM): Hahaha, yeah. That was my thought - I was all, well, what supplies would I have? Wait, that wouldn't matter.
colin_chaotic (8:51:54 PM): Honestly, if I was by myself in the wild for longer than a day or two, no people, books, pets, TV, I'd probably off myself preemptively.
no_kant_no (8:52:02 PM): Exactly.
colin_chaotic (8:52:24 PM): I don't do well with boredom. I could handle starvation and weird diseases, but fuck boredom.