Er, I realize I am quite deranged, thanks. To understand exactly how much, I should tell you all about the HP story idea that I and my cousins came up with this summer!
It takes place in current day, aka after the Trio et all have graduated. It also takes place in an American school of magic - The Washington School, to be precise. The Washington School is a bit different from the other American schools, which are regional (one in New York City, the New York Academy of Magic; one in New Orleans; one in Chicago, the Franklin Institute of Sorcery; and one in Los Angeles, Gold's School of Witchcraft). The regional schools take students from the areas that they serve; the Washington School, meanwhile, is for the children of employees of the Department of Magic, the very very rich, and the very very smart. Quite elite. And every ten years they host the National Youth Magic Competition - a combination of duels, Quodpot tournaments, knowledge bowls, and even a spelling bee! Students come from all of the regional schools, plus the smaller state school for Hawaii and Alaska (both of which are day schools), and the schools in Toronto and Vancouver.
However, an evil power is rising amongst the student body of the Washington School. The government is understandably concerned, but doesn't dare to send any of their operatives into the school, as the student body is quite close to the Department of Magic and would catch wind of it sooner or later. So the Secretary of Magic calls in a favor with England's Minister of Magic, who agrees to send in a team.
The leader is Nymphadora Tonks, who - using her Metamorphmagus ability - will be going undercover as a student. The team consists of Harry Potter, now Harry Gardner, teacher of Defensive Magic; Hermione Granger, now Tara Westley, math teacher; Ron Weasley, now Don Westley, P.E. teacher; Draco Malfoy, now Damien Black, Practical Zoology teacher; and Zacharias Smith, now Zachary Smith, teacher of Practical Magic (home ec for wizards). Needless to say, they're doomed.
But that's okay, because the students put together their own team to discover the evil being rising from their depths... Because, hello, gossip gets around. And so they assemble, one from each of the regional schools, the Canadian schools, and the Washington School. And Alaska, sort of. (The story behind that: all of the regional/Canadian schools get to send whole delegations, including students not involved in the NYMC. Alaska and Hawaii, however, were only allowed the option of sending their top student in each category. So when the opening ceremony started, they finally got around to introducing the one candidate that Alaska sent. "Daisy Nome! Um, is there a Daisy Nome present?" Cough cough, ahem ahem. "What?" It's right there. "...it?" Yes, the polar bear. "..." It's got a note around its neck. "...'We hate you. Have a polar bear.'")
Daisy the polar bear becomes part of the Scooby gang mostly because she insists on following John Davis - the occasionally brilliant representative from the Franklin Institute of Sorcery (and Hackysack - the logic on that goes Midwest->stoners->hackysack, please don't be insulted, my dad's from there, it's a great place, this is a satire piece, don't kill!) - around.
Anyway, the leader of the Scoobies is M. Mason (her real first name is Molly, after Molly Pitcher). Her father's a higher-up in the wizarding version of the Army, and she is fond of marching in protests. She is also 13, and a day student (seventh and eighth grades are day; nine through twelve are boarding or day). From New Orleans comes Clementine "Hell" Helsinki, a Goth voodoo type 18 year old. John Davis is from FIS(H), and is 16. Adam Bishop is a 15 year old from New York, and one of the top Technomages in America. From Vancouver is seventeen year old Sarah Langley, who is... sane (quite rare in this group), and from Toronto is Jacques Olivier, a fourteen year old who pretends to speak French, but... doesn't. Not really. And finally, from Los Angeles' Gold's School of Witchcraft (aka GSW, aka the Gun Shot Ward), Lasse "Lost" Gundarsen, seventeen year old "gangster" (his parents were in the Norwegian mafia) who enjoys folk dancing.
EDIT: Also, I'm totally moving to England after college. Because they've got Doctor Who and Terry Pratchett and Diana Wynne Jones and I am tired of using half of my harddrive to store episodes of British TV that I could get perfectly easily if I lived there! (Well, okay, I would start getting Life on Mars now if my cable didn't decide to be the most effed up thing ever; I'm not even sure if I'll like it and I'm downloading the complete first season, because it's a cop show + time travel + hilarious 70s lingo and costumes. It's like 21 Jump Street meets Doctor Who! Which just reminds me of that one fic we were planning, and I'm going now.)