"I can't believe you said that! Apologize to the entire continent of England!"

So, CSI was lolarious, and I can't be the only one who found some srs Hodges/Greg undertones there.

(Granted, now I'm stuck watching Clean House with my mother, waiting for pumpkin pie. Sigh. Hey, that rhymed!)

Seriously. It might have been a half-clip show, but it was still awesometastical.

( Me and Julia chat about the awesomeness of the episode. )

And in the spirit of CSIness, I present: me and the group as the lab rats!

Me - Wendy (commandeering and bitchy FTW!)
Julia - Mandy (subtle eye-rolling humor FTW!)
Piper - Hodges (delusional, obsessive freak with an inflated sense of self-worth)
Oscar - Archie (as previously stated)
Patrick - Henry (normal, and a pushover)
Emily - Greg, the rocker side.
Carter - Greg, the geek side.

(So, I... ship Piper/Emily/Carter? Huh? Er, ignore me.)

Ah, is there anything more fun than for two weeks, absolutely adoring an episode of a TV show for one very specific reason... and then going online to find out that that exact reason is the same one people dislike and are digusted with the show? No, definitely nothing better.

The specific exchange I'm talking about is this one, from CSI:

Max: "I'm the guy who buys his daughter a puppy for her eighth birthday. And the next day, he backs out of his driveway and..."
Brass: "Don't tell me... you ran over the dog."
Max: "No, I ran over my daughter!"

This, and the various people he killed on accident - and how those accidents happened, it just made me crack up. I mean, yeah, it was sad, but it was also the most hilarious thing ever, and Catherine's reaction is exactly how I'd react, and exactly as all the cops I've known would react. And everybody (er, well, everyone on TWoP, in any case) is purely disgusted with it, especially Catherine's reaction.

(Reminds me how all the kids at my school are always so pissed off with how cops act to them - I'm sitting there like, not only would I be worse to you, but you'd be far worse. Christ! I mean, they were all upset because this cop who came in as a speaker said, point blank, that if it came down to him or us, he'd choose him because he's more important. My reaction was along the lines of, 'I love it when they're all up front like that!' And everybody else is just whining about it. Sigh.)

I just realized why I like the pretty boy on Shark so much! There's a vague resemblance between him and John Barrowman. Plus, he has a brilliantly cute pout. He's sweet.

Also, I think Greg/Sofia would be rather cool to actually have on CSI. I dunno. They'd make cute babies!

( Spoilers for the latest CSI )

Also, I swear to God that Veronica Mars's criminology professor was just on Shark. Bwuh? I CONFUSED!

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Well, damn. It appears I'm still in sixth grade. Of course, on the upside, sixth grade is approximately the reading level that newspapers aim at. Hey, I could totally write for a newspaper! Par-tay!

Also, Ugly Betty is the most awesomest awesome to ever grace ABC's blighted scheduling. It's hilarious, heartwarming, and the lead hot guy? At one point, completely looked like David Monahan. And then looked totally like Christian Kane. Just plain hot. Don't look at promo material to judge him, his EW photo made him look horrible, you HAVE to see him in action to see the hot.

CSI and Shark were also kickass tonight. I actually don't mind the over dramatic ending of last week's CSI, it was handled well. Although I saw far more of Danny Bonaduce than I ever needed to, thanks CSI.

Mayor McShorty from Oz is on Shark next week!

Or Devlin, I think his name was. But Mayor McShorty is far more amusing and accurate.

Shark, by the by, is rather awesome. As for the CSI premiere... eh. ( Spoilers for the credits only )

Also, how many 'jump the shark' jokes are there going to be for Shark? Not enough, I'm betting!

Ahem. Why must NBC and CBS both release all their sweeps info at the same time? I'M GOING TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

( Spoilers for the last two L&O:CI episodes this season )
( Spoilers for upcoming NCIS episodes )
( Spoilers for upcoming CSI:NY episodes )
( Spoilers for upcoming CSI episodes )
( Spoilers for upcoming Numb3rs episodes )

( Spoilers for the opening scene of next week's Veronica Mars! )

Spoilers for the latest CSI.
( I Like to Watch )

Know what I'm going to do now? I'm going to go watch my Booker DVDs that arrived today. Oh yes. Yes I am.

Spoilers for the latest CSI.
( Up in Smoke )

Spoilers for the latest CSI.
( Pirates of the Third Reich )

I'm starting to think I should keep a running tally of how many times during one of these I reference a show I'm not actually watching. It's gotta be in the hundreds at this point.

Spoilers for the latest CSI.
( Killer )

1: Hoodwinked is the most awesomest animated movie of all time. Srsly. Go see now.

2: Because Ken Marino does the voice of the raccoon in Hoodwinked, we are obv. meant to be.

3: Ken Marino has joined Dean Winters, Michael Muhney, and David Monahan on my 'Favorite Actors EVAR' list. (Fifth place, of course, belongs to Dylan Bruno for as long as he wants it.)

4: Four Kings is the. slashiest. show. EVER. At least, currently on TV. Especially since Wanted got cancelled.

5: TNT is on my temporary shit list for cancelling Wanted (temp. means that I'll still watch it, but I'll sneer every time the network logo appears. I fear that nothing short of completely dropping Law & Order reruns will put TNT on the permanent shit list).

SPOILERS for the latest CSI.
( Kiss-Kiss, Bye-Bye )

I totally look like a dumbass in that picture. Bwah. But guess what folks? Now I don't have to worry about ANYTHING to do with my hair! It's free! HOORAH! Low-maintenence and shorter showers, here I come! (Further note: this is the least amount of hair I've ever had. Even in fifth grade, with the bowl cut, or sixth/seventh with my shaved back of head, I had more hair.)

Spoilers for latest CSI episode.
( Daddy's Little Girl )

And now, I'm going to bed, so that I'll actually be AWAKE in Andrew's class.

On a case where a guy's brain basically slammed out of his skull.
Stella: "I knew it would be a no-brainer for you."
Hawkes: "...she didn't just say that."
Mac and Flack: "She did."

On a case about the death of a bike messenger. Danny delivers some bad news, Stella is upset.
Danny: "Hey, don't kill the messenger. [Pause.] See what I did there?"
Stella: "Yeah, it was cute."

That's one of the things I love best about CSI:NY. They say the most horrible jokes, and they're exactly the jokes you would say. And they all know how entirely horrible the jokes are. CSI has it too (Grissom's pre-credit one liner, Greg's jokes like "Urine trouble!"), but CSINY makes an art out of it.

Dude. In the first episode of second season, "The Way We Were" (by 46bliss, made famous by the VM episode "Silence of the Lamb") is played! Sweet! And no, there wasn't actually any of the lyrics. But I could still tell. Because I've listened to the VM soundtrack so much I can pick up the beginning of one of the songs when less than two seconds is played in a commercial, so I could pick out the song for this montage, yo.

I need a CSI:NY icon. Or two. Nah, three. It'll be Danny, Flack, and Hawkes. My boys. Oh yes.

I know Kat's always blathering on about scene points. Do I get any geek points for staying up on Christmas Eve... reading CSI: New York fanfiction? Huh? Because if I ain't getting geek points for that, ain't nobody getting geek points from nothin' 'round these parts.

Blame the multiple apostraphes on the fact that I'm thinking with a New York accent. Yeah I can do that. I had a Boston accent when I was two, and I've never been to Boston! I can do anything, man. Anything. And anyway, you guys all read how I type after watching Oz. Street slang and curses everywhere. Why can't I think New York?

Anyway. CSI: New York has become somewhat of a phenomena with me. How so? Because I love every single damn character, even Aiden, who I thought I'd hate. (I'm still not getting the Danny/Aiden shippers, though. They are totally like siblings. And Mac and Stella are totally the parents.) And Mac's totally awesome. I mean, he's actually a supervisor. Unlike Grissom who, much as I love the guy, is the least competent manager in the history of forever (and no, I did NOT almost type 'foreva' there, damn it).

Stella is completely kick-ass, too. She manages to take scenes that, had Catherine and/or Sara done them, would have made me roll my eyes in annoyance, and instead makes me grin (her angry scenes, mostly, like the one in that one episode that had David DeLuise or in Officer Blue). Mac/Stella is probably my number one passive ship right now. (Note: passive ship means I like the characters together, but am not in complete and total love with the characters, so while I'd bat for their side in ship debates, I'm not actively seeking fanfiction about that ship. Ron/Hermione from HP was my former number one passive ship.)

Aiden? Awesome. I thought she'd a bitchy... well, bitch, but she isn't. Not really. And when she is? Damn if they didn't deserve it. A character I not only love to watch, but one I'd probably be friends with in the real world too.

Doctor Sheldon Hawkes. As I've mentioned before, he is hot. Probably my favorite part about the circus episode was when he hopped up on the autopsy table. I love the character and the actor, the morgue humor was perfectly handled. His eyes have this weird glow sometimes that's just plain cool, and he's just brilliant.

And speaking about weird eyes brings me to my two faves, Detective Don Flack and Danny Messer. Flack, of course, has the bluest blue eyes you will ever see - they're crazy. Danny has a constant intense expression which makes me glad I never got interrogated by him. He'd stare at me and next thing you know, I'd be confessing to shooting JFK, fer chrissake! Anyway, Don and Danny are just perfect for me, as far as characters go. I mean, you've got brilliant actors who are also undeniably good looking, then you've got both of them with a good chunk of the humorous lines, and finally you've got the fact that, humor aside, they were both given storylines that showed off their squishy underbellies (Flack with Moran storyline, Danny with the shooting - or even the Tanglewood thing).

And how awesome is it that Michael DeLuise is one of the few characters to give us valuable Danny background? I mean, come on! And Sucre being involved in a case that got us another background piece? I love this show, and how it seems to tie together every single actor I know (there was also an actor from Veronica Mars - in the David DeLuise episode - and a couple of other guys that hit my radar - and no, not the gaydar, although there were some of them too).

The minor characters are also brilliant. Doctor Giles, Jane, and Chad? All cool, although I'm not going to say how they rate against Vegas' stable of techs, because that's just mean, and Hodges, Bobby, Jacqui and the rest will always hold a special place in my heart. And Chad keeps making me think of Giovanni Ribisi, which is distracting (and endearing, but still).

If we're going to draw parallels of the characters, it'd probably come up like this:
Mac - Grissom
Stella - Catherine
Aiden - Sara
Danny - Warrick
Flack - Nick (or Brass, but he seems more Nick than anything)
Hawkes - Doc Robbins
Although Danny's mysterious background might parallel Sara's, making Aiden Warrick. Which makes a little more sense. And I hate to say it folks, but I'm siding with New York on every single case, except possibly Flack/Nick/Brass'. And Flack's got two of my faves working against him for the vote to sway.

In conclusion: heck of a show. I'm glad I've only missed eleven (technically, ten, since I saw Grand Murder at Central Station before I even watched season one) episodes. CSI: Denver would still be awesome, though.

My god. I am a loser. So I'm watching Law & Order: SVU, right? And Benson says "Kinda hard to shoot yourself in the back of the head." My response? Tilt my head forward, form my hand into a finger gun, and point it at the back of my head. "Not that hard."

Oh, and it's really weird to watch old episodes of SVU where Daniel Sunjata played a somewhat recurring role as a forensics guy. Because I keep thinking dude, there's no fire here! What're you doing? Go have barely sub slashy subtext with Garrity! And that's distracting. This episode in particular also includes Jimmy O'Keefe! Coo', yo, coo'. But Dad wants to

"Garcia, what are you doing in the FBI?"
"Didn't get into medical school."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?"
"Ouch. That's just what my father said."

And now, CSI NY. They sure love the jerky camera movements over here. The theme song seems weirdly laid back for all the epileptic camera people, though. They're getting the wind right, but the light's all wonky for New York. You can tell it was filmed in California. That's something I have to give NCIS - they keep it around greenery/away from windows enough for it to seem like it could very well be filmed in the Virginia/DC/Maryland area.

Gary Sinise kind of annoys me - most definitely not on a David Caruso level, or even a Sasha Alexander level. Maybe a Diane Farr level. ...why do I have different levels of actor-dislike? It currently goes like this, starting with the most hated: David Caruso, Sasha Alexander, Mariska Hargitay, Gary Sinise, Diane Farr. I feel like I should have someone in between Gary Sinise and Diane Farr, because Diane Farr isn't really that bad. Amy Acker? That could work. Except I dislike her more than Gary Sinise. Damn. I'll have to think about this.

Oooh, cute guy. The guy who just called one of the main characters away from an artist guy to say that the guy from the braille institute was there. Aha, figured out the name. 'Zach Shannon', played by David Julian Hirsh. He's a little like Greg, without being incredibly annoying like Ryan on Miami (god, that guy).

I like the little architectural differences between LV and NY, though (I can't compare to Miami, because . LV, the lab appears almost as if it's underground, no real windows to the outside. NY gives off the impression of being in the upper stories of a building. Everything's glass within both, but LV has all of the techs working in seperate cages, while NY has people all over the place. I think I'll probably watch more CSI NY (although it is another show in which I don't much care for the two mains - Gary Sinise and that one chick, I think her character's name is Stella?), all the guys but Gary Sinise are dead sexy. Even if two of them (um, the two who aren't Hawkes, and yes I did totally forget their names) have accents that take a little getting used to.

I totally had a full glass of wine with dinner tonight. Well, after dinner, technically. It was the first alcohol I've had that actually had a taste other than alcohol (mostly because it was super sugary).

We went over to Randy and Andrea's, and it was them, me, my parents, Bonnie, Craig, Colin, Anna, both of Craig's parents, and Elliot (Randy's dog) and Aleeyah (the neighbors' dog whom Randy and Andrea are babysitting for the weekend). Two of Andrea's coworkers, Josh and Destiny, came over for a while.

I managed to catch CSI, too! Parts of it I couldn't hear thanks to the chaos, but I got most of it. Brill Hodges scenes, and I loved the Greg/Gil scene too.

Whoa. That missing girl with the unfortunate name? Totally just called a homicide – she may have died as much as a year and a half ago! Why does the Denver-Metro area always get the crazy? Like, dude. There needs to be a CSI: Denver, and they’d have enough ‘ripped from the headlines’ episodes for three seasons!

Oh, look. Road rage ending with a guy shooting off a shotgun – and his car is one of the Columbine ‘respect life’ ones. Jeez.

For Christ’s sake! What the hell is it with winter in Colorado? Everyone goes nuts and starts hopping counters to rob banks and shit. Freakin’ Colorado, damn it. Five attempted abductions in Denver Public Schools since school started.

And now, CSI!
( A Bullet Runs Through It (Part Two) )

Am I the only one who remembers a time when kids were safe walking through their neighborhoods, even all by themselves? I see all this shit on the news these days and think my parents must have been crazy to let me wander wide and far from age five on – and even to let me run around the culdesac starting at age three! Sure, it was a military neighborhood, but what about after moving to Colorado? I was only seven, and my only restriction was “Be home when the streetlamps turn on”. No way in hell am I letting my kids wander the neighborhood by themselves at age seven. HELL no.

( A Bullet Runs Through It (Part One) )