Leevee (colin_chaotic) wrote,
Leevee
colin_chaotic

Rugby Song - "Jesus Can't Play Rugby"

As copied from http://users.cjb.net/brainoburge/jesuscantplayrugby.html

Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic

CHORUS: Free beer for all the ruggers, Free beer for all the ruggers
Free beer for all the ruggers, Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause his head gear is illegal
ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause his head gear is illegal
Jesus can't play rugby 'cause his head gear is illegal
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 friends
ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 friends
Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 friends
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!

OTHER VERSES:
The goal posts give him flashbacks
His dad fixes the games
The Jew won't pay his dues
He's got holes in his hands
The MotherFucker's Dead
He can't support a hooker
Jesus can't play touch judge 'cuz his arms point both ways
He's nailed to a cross
He's got some open wounds
He wears illegal spikes
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause his cross will get stuck in a ruck
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause he's nailed to the uprights
Jesus CAN play Rugby 'cause he turns water into wine
Mary is a Virgin, Yeah we heard that one before
Jesus can't play Rugby 'cause his sandals have no studs
Jesus can't play Rugby cause Mel Gibson owns the rights

Be sure to finish this song with the following verse, to make sure you don't go to hell (for singing this song, at any rate).
ALL Jesus, we're only kidding.
Jesus, we're only kidding.
Jesus, we're only kidding.
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

For bonus fun, whenever singing "jesus saves", sprinkle beer from your cup as if you're sprinkling holy water

Disturbingly, the only "appropriate" rugby song I can find.
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