Aaand welcome to all new episode of WANTED! And not Watner, as I just tried to type because I totally got slapped with the retard gene today (no, seriously, I tried to spell ‘laziness’ as ‘laxiness’ during Civics earlier).
“You gotta do God-calculus” BWAH!
”This a bad time to ask for some time off?”
“Nah, I got this girl.”
”At a raffle?”
Aw. I love Eddie/Jimmy bonding.
FLAMBE! AHAHAHA! I’m better now.
Hey, the kid grew up! He looks like he could totally be Carter’s age instead of like, a sixth grade.
“Whoa, whoa. Brad, your mom’s therapist boyfriend, yelled at you?”
Aw, that poor kid. He always makes me feel sorry for him.
“Maybe we should send him a thank-you.”
“Maybe you should be reassigned!” Oh, PLEASE!
“It was pretty dark...”
“Yeah, it was NIGHT.”
“I drink, I get drunk, I pass out, no problem!”
God, why is the sound all effed around on this stupid channel?
Hey, Carlamen’s actually being useful! And Rodney doesn’t knock!
Ew. That’s one of the more disturbing make-up jobs for injuries I’ve ever seen. Of course, I don’t watch ER or nothin’, but still.
EEK, HOWELL! Sorry. That’s going to happen pretty much every time we go to the coroner’s office, FYI.
I like his accent. It reminds me of MacGyver. Um. That makes no sense.
Howell, don’t sound so excited by people biting each other’s tongues off.
Okay, the swirly camera and fancy dress made me go “Did I just turn on National Treasure?”
Dude. I think lawyer lady is warming up to Connie. Weeeeeird.
“Y’all found any tongues in the lost-and-found.”
I love the tiny-ass flashlights they have.
Dudes, your van? So NOT inconspicuous.
You know, I kinda like Merced when she’s not doing any real field work.
EW... I hate decapitation. It’s so... messy.
Why did we just get a butt shot of Rodney? That’s so bizarre.
Hey, Carlamen even looks like she could have been in Naval Intelligence now! Aw, she’s all grown up and interesting now!
Halo 2! HAHA! Sorry. Halo amuses me, that’s all.
“I think he’s lying through his gold teeth.”
”We know you sell it, you know you sell it... considering the current political climate, you’re lucky you’re not down in Gitmo with a pillowcase over your head.”
Helichopter! Does that mean bossman will soon be here? ...guess not. Damn. I use that as my signal! Don’t fuck with me like that!
Tommy. Shut up. I hate you soooo much. Trying to be all bad-ass, and you just come off like an ass.
Connie, quit being such a jackass. When I’m siding with Merced over you, you know you’ve gone too far.
“Just DO IT, damn it!”
”...the velvet touch of Eddie Drake.”
What is that, lye? Did someone watch Fight Club a little too often or what?
“With all due respect, sir, that’s bullshit.” Aha, she’s really sounding like a Naval officer now!
Did Merced just get a makeover en route? Because fuck. I like her better with the pigtail and gray tank, damn it.
“Street money? You should get a reciept for that.”
I love the way Jimmy says ‘shut up’ to Eddie.
“That is so right on.”
Eddie, I love your revised Constitution! And you, for that matter.
“Don’t tell Captain Velenz, it might give him an idea.” BWAH!
BWAHA! Belecheck! As defense attorney!
“This is SO illegal.”
“I know, just pretend you’re mad at me.”
“The hyena has landed!” Bwuh? Hyena? Huh?
That moment – the ‘you’re going to explain to the dead why they are dead’ – would have been billions of times more poignant if the sound guys hadn’t gone wacky with the special effects afterwards.
Jeez! Eddie! You don’t almost nearly get killed! I’d have to hurt somebody if that happened. And no one wants to see that – unless I get to hurt Tommy. Hm. Debate...
Alright Carlamen! Way to act like you know what you’re doing! I might actually call you by your real name in the future!
“Better to die standing than live on your knees.” Hey. I remember that from Among the Hidden.
Alright Eddie! Way to shoot!
God, they are going to get SO sued by the ambassador dude. You know it’s going to happen. Or would, if this was less of an action show.
“Listen, I need you to not be an asshole for five minutes.” Good luck there, Eddie!
Aw, Eddie. Connie is so your father figure. Aw.
Irene. Nice name. Bet her mother named her.
Aw, Eddie. Unfortunately, absolutely no one is going to make you feel better over telling you the truth, at least not where you work.
Uh... I thought the kid was, like, in sixth grade. Why is Connie letting him drive? I mean, sure, the kid’s almost taller than Drake... and I so need to use that joke in a fanfic.
Aw. Drake’s daughter is adorable. He totally took his boyfriend with him to look at her.
By the way, http://www.pandora.com/ is the coolest thing EVER! I can finally find bands that sound like Wang Chung! WHOO!