This also has the 'Elliot uses soccer as a sex metaphor' scene. Oh, God. This is cringe-worthy. I do love the "Dad. I'm a virgin, okay?" and then the ball goes flying by him. "...okay."
Aaaand now I'm watching the Denver auditions for American Idol. Oh, God, see how far I've fallen? Well, it's not like there's anything else on. I'm totally looking to see if I recognize anyone. Heh. The first guy makes me want to move, so that I'm not associated with him. (And who the hell names their child 'Marlows'? WTF, mate?) I gotta mute it. I gotta. This is just sad. And he's my age, too. Ouch.
Finally, he's gone. ARGH. Some shrill Utah girl is butchering Gretchen Wilson now.
Do we really, really need so many shots of Denver people wearing cowboy hats? WE GET IT. DENVER IS A HICK COWTOWN STUCK IN THE OLD WEST. MOVE ON, DAMN IT.
This Lisa girl's pretty awesome. I like her. Wish I could sing like that. We're the same age, I totally should be able to sing like that.
Ryan Seacrest looks worn out. I think he has a hangover. Or maybe it's that weird 'high altitude sickness' crap people claim they get in Denver. The losers. We all know that they just go out and get drunk and blame it on the height afterwards!
Bones commercial: *pulls gun* "FBI!" *pulls gun* "US MARSHALLS!" *hands raised* "Forensic anthropologist! That's why no gun."
I like that everyone in the audition's got weird-ass skills. Gymnastics, dance, and geography (that one impressed me the most, I tell no lie). And why does this Northglenn girl want to be Whitney Houston when she grows up? That's a bad life goal.
What's with all the Californians in the Colorado audition? Oh, wait. Sorry. Next question: when are all the Texans going to show up? Colorado: East California meets North Texas. Not an actual state, just a place for the other two states to meet and party. Ace's a cutie. I like him.
Great, now a Kanassass. Heh. I totally didn't mean that the way it looks. I just started thinking 'Manassass', and it went on from there. She's pretty good. And "Chain of Fools" is a hard song to sing - I know, because the Midget was the only one to get platinum on the easy setting when we played Karaoke Revolution.
Aaaand that's it. I am done watching this show. Done. DONE I SAY! I'd probably watch if I was over at the Dealls' house (and, y'know, they didn't like in Georgia now), because it's fun to watch with friends. But by myself, I just shudder. I have this inability to watch people humiluate themselves, I don't know why.
For now, I'll watch Law & Order: CI on USA and eat my pizza (cheese, with extra cheese, light sauce, and cheese stuffed-crust) while waiting for the new CSI: New York episode tonight. Argh, why must it be on so late? Or, rather, why don't I get adequate sleep?
EDIT: ARGH! AAAAAAH! IT'S HOWELL! Okay, am better.