A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
I never dared to be radical when young for fear it would make me conservative when old.
I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed.
If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.
If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market.
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.
Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second.
The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.
The middle of the road is where the white line is - and that's the worst place to drive.
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
There is no arguing with him, for if his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the butt end of it.
Thinking isn't agreeing or disagreeing. That's voting.
To be social is to be forgiving.
Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country.
You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider.
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.