Leevee (colin_chaotic) wrote,

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TV w/o Pity

Coolest couple ever?
I think Strega fixed this poll - 70%
Darla & Angelus - 19%
Harmony & Spike - 7%
Fred & Gunn - 2%
Cordelia & Connor - 2%

Okay, for real, coolest couple?
Lilah & Wesley - 37%
Drusilla & Spike - 36%
Gwen & Gunn - 15%
Darla & Angelus - 12%

"Gunn wanders over and asks what's going on. Spike instantly climbs a handy step-ladder and gives Gunn a warm hug and a peck on the cheek as he says, "I'm back, Charlie!" There sure was a lot of weirdness there. After Gunn and Angel wonder how this happened, Spike guesses that it's because of the "box of flashy" he got. Angel calls Harmony over and asks why the phones are ringing. She says that nobody knows, "and all there is is 'eeeeeeeee' on the other end." Someone must have put the wrong phone number up for American Idol."

"The suit enters a copier room and tells someone, "You're not going to believe this, Jerry. I just got thrown out of my own office!" Jerry turns to face him, and we see that there's blood dripping from...well, not his eyes. From under his eyes. "Toner," he gasps, and then wallops the suit with a fire extinguisher. As Jerry clubs the suit he shouts, "Nobody! Replaces! The toner!""

"Eve brings up the Shanshu prophecy, and Angel and I sigh wearily. Eve and Fred remind us that you shouldn't talk about the boards on the boards."

"I was going to ask why Angel didn't just call her, but then I remembered that the phones are out. Okay. Instead, I'll ask if Angel thinks that Fred will just sit quietly in her lab if she discovers something. I'm pretty sure Fred would insist on letting Angel know if she realized that her cheese sandwich is a little stale."

"Gunn says they need an expert in prophecies, and Angel points out that Wesley's gone. I'm not sure what the one has to do with the other."

"Angel stands up and tells Gunn that he's in charge, and then suddenly notices that Spicule has gone missing. Way to use the old vampire supersenses there, Angel."

"Gunn is on a walkie-talkie, advising a security goon to take care of Harmony by shooting her full of "elephant tranqs." Do they have elephant tranqs? Just in case of a demonic circus? Actually, that would be a fun stand- alone episode."

Best thing about Spike and Angel being reunited?
"Best"? Is that a joke? - 33%
The banter - 29%
When they remind us that they've both nailed Buffy - 18%
The fights - 12%
The flashbacks - 8%

"Spike asks if Buffy was thinking of Angel 'all those times [he] was puttin' it to her.' I wish Angel's response here was, 'I so don't care what, if anything, Buffy thinks about these days.'"

"Spicule gasps, 'It's... Mountain Dew.' Angel and Spicule stare at each other for a bit. So they wrestled for a vessel with the brew that is Dew? Fair enough."

Once again, which word should be retired from use?
Always and forever, "champion" - 73%
"Bloody" - 11%
"Buffy" - 11%
"Shanshu" - 5%

"Cut to Eve, entering a bedroom decorated with a lot of mysterious symbols. Like, on the walls, the doorframes, the door itself. That's eclectic. She undresses while delivering a monologue. Aw, they're making the expositional strip tease into an actual strip tease; that's cute. Because it seems like we might learn something here, but really, we're just gonna wind up anxious and dissatisfied. Not that there's anything wrong with that; I just find it funny. Eve says, "They totally fell for the cup of torment thing, just like you thought they would." She adds that Rutherford has safely escaped, and that the MoG are on red alert. As her underwear falls to the floor, she says, "[Spicule] didn't kill Angel, but they did beat each other to bloody pulps." We watch her legs move toward the bed, and as she slips under the covers, her bony thighs freak me out. Yikes. Your thighs shouldn't be the same width as your calves if you're past puberty. Anyway, she gets into bed, and we finally see that she's been talking to Lindsey. Who is also covered with mystic markings of some kind. And he's got an earring. Oh, maybe he became a pirate while he was gone! Yarr. Eve snuggles up, and Lindsey kisses her temple before commenting, "Well. It's a start." Hi, Lindsey. I didn't really miss you, but your reappearance definitely made me giggle. Also, this might explain Eve's casting (and it sure would be nice if something did), because it's probably hard to find an actress who can make Lindsey look as gigantic as he does next to her. Oh yes, the grand total is: eight uses of "bloody" plus one "bleeding," none of which were literally describing something covered with blood. Note to Mutant Enemy: knock it off!"

Well, I dislike how they insult all my faves (Wes, Spike, and Linds), but it's still daym funny.

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