2. Spencer Reid
3. Owen Harper
4. Ianto Jones
5. Tony DiNozzo
6. Matt Seely
7. Danny Messer
8. Abby Scuito
9. Derek Morgan
10. Colby Granger
11. Captain Jack Harkness
12. Stella Bonasera
13. David Hodges
14. Woody Hoyt
15. Larry Fleinhardt
16. Tim McGee
17. Greg Sanders
1. One (Flack) and Eleven (Cap'n Jack) are eating breakfast at IHOP in their pajamas. Why are they together and what were they doing last night?
Shockingly enough (considering it involves Captain Jack), it wasn't anything rated NC-17! Flack stumbled across a scene he shouldn't have (Torchwood wound up in New York after a series of reports matched Weevil sightings, and Gwen guilted them into it), Jack wound up taking him to a bar and drugging him with retcon - unfortunately, Flack passed out before he got home, and Jack didn't know where he lived. He could've had Tosh look it up rather easily, but instead decides he wants to have some fun, and takes Flack to his hotel room. In the morning, he lets Flack assume he got totally shitfaced and they had sex. Flack is suprisingly "Whatever" about this, and they go to the IHOP across the street for breakfast (where Jack entertains him with many, carefully censored, tales of his dalliances involving syrups, causing Flack's face to turn green a few times).
2. Two (Spencer) and Twelve (Stella) get into a flame war on their online journals. What are they disagreeing about?
Oh Lord. Probably something reaaaaally obscure that us normal people don't know about. Or something in which Stella states something, Spencer replies pointing out the obvious logical fallacies, and they begin to argue over that.
3. Three (Owen) and Thirteen (Hodges) meet in a store and both reach for the same product. What kind of store are they in, what are they both wanting and who winds up with it?
I know! The last box of non-latex gloves (neither is allergic to latex, but the non-latex gloves feel better and don't dry out their hands like latex). They bitch at each other for a while, each trying to one-up the other ("I've got a masters degree in biochem!" "I'm a doctor!" "Your mouth's too big!" "You've got gray hair!", etc), but finally Owen just grabs the box and runs for the checkout, leaving Hodges cursing.
4. Four (Ianto) and Fourteen (Woody) are in the same high school class. Are they friends? Do they get along?
Well, at the beginning of the year they don't really get along, but they don't not get along, either. Ianto is the quiet Welsh exchange student, and Woody is... Woody. Then Woody stumbles across Ianto's wounded serial killer girlfriend in the basement of the school, and his stupid self gets convinced she's innocent (by Ianto, of course, poor boy), and Lisa kills him. Yayz!
5. Five (Tony) and Fifteen (Larry) are entered in a karaoke contest aginst their will. What do they end up singing and are they any good?
After a joint NCIS/FBI case that the CalSci geeks helped on, they go out to eat at a place that's hosting a karaoke contest. The karaoke contest is for pairs, so Tony (ever the show off) grabs the guy closest to him and hauling him up to the stage with him. Larry is just plain confused, as Tony chooses one of the songs from a Bond movie. And if Tony's singing in that one episode of NCIS is anything to go by, they win!
6. Six (Matt) and Sixteen (McGee) wake up handcuffed to each other in the middle of the woods. How'd they get there, and how do they get out?
NCIS was in Boston for a case (that Matt had been originally assigned to), and he wound up having to drive the McGeek over to the morgue to look through all the forensics stuff. As they were walking from the remote crime scene to Matt's car, they were ambushed and knocked unconscious! The bad guys drag them through the woods to an even more remote area, and left them. When they wake up, Matt immediately starts bitching and whining. McGee snaps at him, comparing him to Tony, and Matt recognizes the name (they went to Boston while Tony was off on a mission for Madame Director, so he came in after Matt and McGee left). They start walking after one of them remembers that moss grows on the north side of trees, and while they walk Matt regales McGee with tales of Tony during high school, giving McGee plenty of blackmail material for the future.
7. Seven (Danny) and Seventeen (Greg) are roommates. Do they get along? Does one of them move out after a month? What do they fight over most?
Actually, they get along great! Greg moved to New York after, well, receiving a better job offer, and for the first week crashed on his old buddy Danny's couch. They then decided that that was stupid, and Greg should just move in, 'cause that's way cheaper. The only fights they have are over what music to blast, whether to watch the basketball game or extreme surfing, and who fed the dog.
8. 1 (Flack) and 12 (Stella) are throwing a surprise party for 8 (Abby). What's the theme, and what does 15 (Larry) bring as a present?
Okay, first, Abby is of course known to pretty much the entire forensics community (shut up, she is), and when she was in New York one time, Stella introduced her to Flack, who instantly loved her (in a platonic way). Abby knows Larry from various conferences, and they email constantly. The party theme is 'Dress As Your Favorite Theory', and Larry brings Abby an extreme Rubik's Cube (it's like, three times as difficult!).
9. 7 (Danny) is setting 6 (Matt) up on a blind date with 14 (Woody). What restaurant does 7 (Danny) pick out for them to go to?
A pizza place, of course, because he knows that all cops love pizza. Danny's friends with both Matt and Woody and is tired of Woody being oblivious and Matt being in denial.
10. 2 (Spencer), 4 (Ianto), 11 (Captain Jack), and 16 (McGee) are being held hostage by ninjas. What would each of them do to escape?
Spencer would psycho-analyze them into giving up (and/or distract them long enough for the others to shoot them). Ianto would shoot them in the shoulder, bluffing that he was aiming for the shoulder. Jack would either flirt them into submission, or wind up getting killed and then taking them by surprise when he revives. McGee would... probably freak out, then think "What Would Gibbs Do?", and shoot them.
11. 2 (Spencer), 6 (Matt), and 12 (Stella) go on vacation, who is lost on purpose?
No one. Matt wants to ditch Spencer, but Stella is too nice to let him, and forces them to stick together. Matt actually winds up getting along with Spencer (to his horror), and when he comes back from vacation he shocks all the morgies by his awesometastic trivia picked up from Spencer. Spencer, meanwhile, takes advice from Matt and Never Ever Gets a Date With Anyone
12. 3 (Owen) and 8 (Abby) have hawt monkey love, who is mad at them?
Gwen, 'cause she's a bitch and even though she's cheating on Rhys she doesn't think Owen should get any on the side.
13. 6 (Matt) is a zombie. Does anyone else care?
The morgies like him better that way! Woody is vaguely worried but not enough to do anything about it. Lu winds up being the only one who cares, and cures him before chewing out the others for leaving him as a zombie.
14. 7 (Danny) and 9 (Morgan) are kidnapped by a crazy person. What happens?
The CSIs and BAU team up and combine their forensic science and forensic psychology to find their missing members, and is officially titled the Shortest Crossover Episode Ever.
15. 1 (Flack) and 12 (Stella) are caught in a... compromising position by 2 (Spencer). What reaction do all of them have?
Flack gets a little deer-in-the-headlights, Stella is completely calm, and Spencer blushes a little and starts babbling statistics.
16. 2 (Spencer) discovers that 10 (Colby) writes fanfiction about them. What kind of fanfiction, and how does 2 react?
The BAU flies out to L.A. to help on a case, and afterwards Colby (who, as we all know, has an extreme geek streak, much as he tries to hide it) writes Spencer into, I dunno, CSI or something, as a total Mary Sue. Spencer is either confused by the concept of fanfiction, or starts psycho-babbling about the reasons people write fanfiction.
17. 4 (Ianto) and 6 (Matt) are tricked into a double-date with 7 (Danny) and 16 (McGee). Where do they go, and does anyone wind up dead and/or injured by the end?
They go to a casual dining place, like Red Robin. Despite whoever they came with, the pairs naturally gravitate into Matt/Danny and Ianto/McGee, as Ianto finds Matt to be too much like Owen for comfort. Matt and Danny trade crazy stories while making overdramatic gestures with french-fries while Ianto and McGee trade hacking strategies and how frustrating it is to
18. 3 (Owen) and 9 (Morgan) go on a date and 6 (Matt) sees them. What happens?
Knowing Matt? He joins them, and quiet cheerfully ignores their requests that he fuck off. And actually, I could see this happening.
19. 8 (Abby) and 2 (Spencer) are hanging out at a bar, who gets drunk first and what do they do?
Oh, Abby. Unless they drink the same amount, then I'd say Spencer, because he probably doesn't drink quite as much. They discuss work, and then decide to play truth or dare. It doesn't end well.
20. 5 (Tony), 14 (Woody), and 8 (Abby) go shopping. For what? Where? Why?
Um. Um. They go shopping for... Matt's birthday? Yeah, that works. They all suddenly realize they need presents and go on an emergency shopping trip to the mall. Woody and Tony hang around Spencer's, and Abby gets distracted by the Discovery Channel Store.
21. 9 (Morgan) and 12 (Stella) are having a clandestine relationship. How did they meet, why did they get together, and why do they have to keep it quiet?
They met when the BAU was in New York, and they got together over shared geekiness about bombs. *nod* See, it was a serial killer bomber, an', an', stuff. And they don't bother keeping it quiet, 'cause they're both adults and don't work together, so why should they have to?
22. 1 (Flack), 10 (Colby), and 15 (Larry) decide that 4 (Ianto) has a problem and they want to help. Why that group of people? What's the problem? Why do they want to help? What do they do?
...um. Well. Larry met Flack at Abby's party, and Flack moved to LA (yeah, shut up) and got a job with the FBI (shut up again). And he and Colby became BFFs. And they know Ianto from that case where Torchwood was in New York, and Flack's memory wasn't actually as erased as Jack thought. So Torchwood winds up in LA (shut up, the third time), and they all decide that Ianto needs to loosen up a little, and... take him to a CalSci party (yeah, yeah, I know, shut up!).
23. 7 (Danny) is out at a club and sees the incredibly sexy 11 (Captain Jack) and decides to try to pick him/her up. What's 7's strategy/pick up lines/method of seduction?
Dude. It's Jack. All he'd have to do is look at Jack, and he'd get some.
24. 2 (Spencer) and 7 (Danny) are throwing a surprise birthday bash for 13 (Hodges). What type theme would it have and who would be invited?
...my brain hurts. Um. Well. They know each other because of Morgan and Stella dating, and then they started dating (...shut UP!), and, uh, Spencer met Hodges when he was in Vegas "visiting" his mother (he didn't actually go in). They exchanged emails about some random hobby they have in common, and Spencer pouts at Danny to help him plan a party. The theme would be a birthday party (who over the age of 15 has a themed birthday party, really?), and they invite... people. I'd be more specific, but I can't decide where in the country said party would take place.
25. 1 (Flack) and 17 (Greg) decide to move in together to save money on rent. Would they hook up? If 5 (Tony) moved in with them would they have a threesome?
Greg moves out from Danny's apartment because of irreconcilable music differences, and Greg decides to move in with Flack (who reminds him of a cross between Nick and a younger Brass). And if Greg can get Flack past his HUUUUGE crush on Danny, they'll hook up. If Tony moved in... well, maybe, yeah, I could see that.
26. 3 (Owen) tells 10 (Colby) a secret about him/herself and 12 (Stella). What's the secret?
...okay, I seriously have no idea at this point, and so shouldn't have included Torchwood characters in this meme. Other than Jack, because those are easy!
27. 16 (McGee) is crushing on 9 (Morgan). Does he/she tell 9 (Morgan), or brood silently over it?
Oh, brood silently. Until Abby notices something and locks the two of them in the closet and refuses to let them out until they start making out.
28. 4 (Ianto) runs into 14 (Woody) at a big conference. What's the conference about and where is it?
It's a paranormal convention in Boston. Ianto is sent because of rumors that actual alien tech was going to be shown there, and Woody shows up when said alien tech winds up killing someone.
29. 15 (Larry) sends 6 (Matt) something in the mail. What is it?
Uh. A family reunion letter! Larry and Matt could so be related.
30. 8 (Abby) and 11 (Captain Jack) are making out on the couch. What music is playing in the background?
Oh, definitely something from the 40's. Jack loves that stuff, and I could see Abby liking it too.
31. 3 (Owen), 6 (Matt), and 9 (Morgan) get together for a slumber party. Who makes the food, who provides the entertainment, and who falls asleep first?
...it's so sad that I can actually see this happening. Um. Morgan would bring the food (not make it, but bring it), Owen and Matt would bitch each other out over which of them gets to choose the entertainment, but both quiet down when Morgan says no porn. Matt winds up bringing the entertainment, action movies, and they all wind up snarking the psychology/weapons training/medicine depicted in said movies. Morgan falls asleep first, as he has the magical ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime, as long as he's tired.
32. 7 (Danny) and 12 (Stella) are both tied to the railroad tracks. 13 (Hodges) can only save one before the train comes. Who is rescued?
I'm tempted to say neither, but Hodges would probably pick Stella because she annoys him less.
33. 4 (Ianto), 6 (Matt), 12 (Stella), & 15 (Larry) are starting a band together, what is their name and what kind of music do they play? Also, who's the lead singer, and what instruments do the others play?
Uh. Uh. Oh man. This is such a crazy question. I'd say that Matt's the lead singer and guitar player, even if he sucks, because... he's Matt. Ianto would be the bass player, because they're quiet. Stella would play the drums (like you didn't think it!), and Larry plays electronic keyboard/sound effects!
34. 1 (Flack) and 11 (Jack) go on a date. Who makes the plans and where do they go?
Jack makes the plans, and they go to a nice dinner and then ice skating! And then they go back to Jack's place and... dance. And not in the innuendo-type way, neither.
35. Why is 2 (Spencer) in the hospital and what does 5 (Tony) and 8 (Abby) bring when they visit?
Oh, Spencer. PICK a reason for him to be in the hospital. Shot, tortured, blown up, whatev. Tony and Abby bring him many DVDs and a DVD player, insisting that now that he's going to be in the hospital for a while, he has to act like a real boy and watch movies and TV.
36. 1 (Flack) and 14 (Woody) hate each other but they get lock in a closet by 3 (Owen). How do they react?
Woody would sit in a corner and pout, and Flack would use something to break the door down and then kick Owen's ass.
37. 2 (Spencer) cheated on 7 (Danny) with 9 (Morgan) (because 9's a slut). How does 7 (Danny) get revenge?
He'd get into a fight with Morgan, probably, and totally give a cold sulky shoulder to Spencer.
38. 7 (Danny) ate 9 (Morgan). How did 9 (Morgan) taste?
...HEE. I went the dirty place. And I really, really couldn't say.
39. Why would 1 (Flack) and 2 (Spencer) NEVER work together? And how does this effect 2 (Spencer) and 4's (Ianto's) affair?
Because Flack's had enough of hanging around geeks! And... I don't think it would, since I doubt that Flack and Ianto would be like BFFs or anything.
40. 4 (Ianto) and 9 (Morgan) go to the movies. What movie do they see? Are they actually watching the movie?
Uh... well, since Torchwood takes place in the future, they go and see Zodiac, the new movie about the Zodiac Killer. Morgan is scoffing at all the mistakes in the movie, and Ianto is trying not to tell him that the Zodiac Killer was actually an alien.
41. 1 (Flack) and 10 (Colby) are a couple, thinking about adding 15 (Larry) to make a threesome. Which of of them asks? Whose idea was it?
Well, Colby would definitely be the one asking. It would probably be his idea too. Flack would be all, oh joy, don't I spend enough time with geeks already?
42. 3 (Owen) catches 11 (Captain Jack) looking at porn on the internet. How do both of them react?
Um. They'd probably share their favorite sites, or watch some videos. I mean, they're both (pretty much) bisexual, and - well, just look at them when they're watching Gwen making out with the alien girl in the second episode!
43. 14 (Woody) thinks 2 (Spencer) is hot. How does he/she let him/her know?
Woody thinks Reid's hot?! Well, I guess that could happen. Um. Woody's probably actually be mean to Reid, because Woody is soooo in denial. *nod*
44. 5 (Tony), 7 (Danny), and 17 (Greg) are playing a drinking game. 7 (Danny) passes out. 5 (Tony) would like to draw on 7's (Danny's) face. 17 (Greg) would like to just put 7 (Danny) to bed. What do they do?
They'd compromise, and put him in bed and then draw on him!
45. 6 (Matt) is dating 13 (Hodges). 13 (Hodges) meets 6's (Matt's) parents for the first time. What's the setting and how does it go?
*dies* Knowing Matt, he'd arrange the meeting to be someplace public, because he knows his parents don't like making a scene. Matt's dad is, of course, highly pissed off, but Matt's mom is just like, "Duh," and also enjoys Hodges's brand of humor (she's the one who gave Matt his sense of humor!).
46. 16 (McGee) comes home to 12 (Stella) with chocolate syrup and a box of condoms, but finds 12 (Stella) in the bed with 8 (Abby). What happens?
They'd invite him to join, he'd blush and stammer but would, eventually, join them.
47. All of the characters are locked in a metal domed cage to fight with two rules: no killing (but broken bones are okay) and if you get knocked out, you're done. They go in shifts (1 with 17, 2 with 16, 3 with 15, 4 with 14, 5 with 13, 6 with 12, 7 with 11, 8 with 10) and 9 is the referee. Winners fight other winners in pairs until there's only one person left (so it goes from the eight winners to four winner, to two winners). Who's the winner, who's cheering who on, and who's hoping -insert character here- gets knocked out and why?
Round One: Morgan's the ref! And he's pouting that he doesn't get to fight, and also worried that Reid's going to get his ass kicked because hello, it's Reid!
Flack vs Greg: Greg, who has been taking self-defense lessons since getting wailed on in "Fannypackin'", manages to put up a fight, but his geek muscles end up as no match for Flack. Flack wins!
Spencer vs McGee: Wins the award as most hilarious fight of the night as the two geeks go at each other, but McGee stumbles and Spencer gets the upper hand and wins.
Owen vs. Larry: Larry gets distracted by an odd philosophy quote early on and Owen sucker-punches him. Owen wins!
Ianto vs. Woody: One of the longest fights of the night, but Ianto wins after headbutting Woody, and is later quoted as saying that Woody's got nothing on crazy cannibals.
Tony vs. Hodges: They circle each other and throw insults for a while, and then Hodges forfeits, saying, "Hello, I work in the lab. Screw off." Tony wins.
Matt vs. Stella: Another of the longest fights, although Matt starts off saying he can't hit a girl, he changes his mind pretty quickly when Stella starts wailing on him. Even when he fights back, though, she beats him up. Stella wins!
Danny vs. Captain Jack: They go at it pretty good, but Jack's got more than a few years of experience on Danny, so he wins. Afterwards, of course, Jack slips him his phone number, and then goes to flirt with the ref.
Abby vs. Colby: Colby's reluctant to fight a girl, but Megan glowers at him, so he does. And he wins, because while Abby is no whimp, there isn't a physical requirement to lab work.
Round Two: Morgan is kind of weirded out both by the fact that Spencer won, and that Jack just hit on him.
Flack vs. Colby: They fight for a long time, long enough to tell that they're more than evenly matched, so they start playing dirty. Colby hauls out the most complex math analogy he can think of, and while Flack is staring at him, knocks him out. Colby wins!
Spencer vs. Jack: Jack is rather disappointed that his usual flirt and/or babble at them until they give up technique didn't work, allowing Spencer to get in a few more hits than he would otherwise, but then Jack brightens up and kisses Spencer, which stuns him long enough for Jack to win!
Owen vs. Stella: Owen acts his usual asshole self (and I love him for it), which pisses Stella off enough that she knocks him out in one hit. (Jack then tells Gwen and Tosh to go pick him up, and they give him a 'bitch, please' look and leave him there. Jack sighs, gets ice water, throws it on Owen, and makes Owen walk himself out.)
Ianto vs. Tony: Ianto tries the headbutting thing again, but Tony brings his head down as well, and knocks Ianto out (since he's built up some calluses around his head from the near-constant concussions he has). Tony wins!
Round Three: Morgan is alternately chewing Spencer out for even entering in the first place, and holding an icepack to Spencer's head (and secretly being jealous that that Jack guy kissed Reid before him!).
Colby vs. Tony: They fight it out, and officially win 'longest battle of the night', but Colby eventualy
Jack vs. Stella: Jack quite enjoys fighting with Stella (he likes strong women), but is a little too focused on flirting with everyone/thing in the room, so Stella knocks him out. Jack then gets mocked heartily by Owen, until Gwen and Tosh both punch him in the shoulder.
Round Four: There is no round four, since Morgan's too busy making out with Reid to bother reffing.