Twilight self-insert (I KNOW, I KNOW, SHUT UP)
It would have been the perfect set-up... had that school happened to be one different than it was.
“You fucking slut!” a pint-sized girl who actually bore some similarities to Alice suddenly screamed out from where she sat, near the Cullens. She then jumped and started smacking a heavyset Hispanic boy. “I can't fucking believe you, you asshole!”
Emmett was snickering, and Rose rolled her eyes. The rest of them just sort of stared in confusion.
The door to the outside opened up, and there was a pause – from the door, not from the shrieking harpy and her increasingly foulmouthed boyfriend. “Oh, crap, it's Jen and Matt again”, a voice said in tones of utmost dread. There were a few heartfelt curses from behind her, and then they carefully sneaked in, trying not to make any sounds.
“Oh, hey, you guys must be new,” one of them said cheerfully to the Cullens, completely ignoring the screaming in the background. “It's not always like this,” he told them, gesturing vaguely to where Jen was clawing at Matt's face.
“Yeah, sometimes they get violent,” a shorter, chubbier, female version of Emmett said sarcastically.
Ender's Game OC fic
The day they removed his monitor was a day of mixed feelings. On the one hand, he was disappointed – the things he'd heard and read about Battle School (mostly read, as his father didn't talk much), it sounded wonderful. On the other hand, it also sounded like quite a bit of hard work. Self-motivated hard work, even, the worst kind.
“Looks like you're just another of us now, Jamie,” Gore, one of his classmates told him sympathetically. Somehow he managed to refrain from pointing out that he would never be like Gore unless he suffered serious brain damage, but it was honestly a near thing.
“Yeah,” he said instead with a shrug. “Guess so.”
OC Next-gen HP to Trio era HP time travel
“Holy fucker of a goat!” the blonde girl cried after a long moment of stunned silence.
“Nic, we've talked about your language,” the adult of the group said with a sigh. None of the other arrivals seemed overly shocked by the cursing, although all the Hogwarts students were either snickering or looking affronted.
“Yeah, sorry, won't happen again, insert generic apology here,” she sneered at him.
Canon next-gen HP to MWPP era time travel
There were many things at Hogwarts that were strange: the poltergeist, who these days was just as likely to give tours of the most magnificent pranks as harass the students; there was the secret Ravenclaw cabal dedicated to worshiping Shakespeare; there was the corridor on the fifth floor that made you irresistible to cats, and the room in the dungeons that turned second years (only second years) into delicious pastries; and there was the only Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in over sixty years to teach more than a year, who had wound up Head of Hufflepuff due to a technicality on the books.
Said professor was currently leading a group of Hufflepuff upperclassmen through the Forbidden Forest on a detention – having once served a nerve-wracking, nightmare-inducing detention there, the professor thought of it as the perfect deterrent for some of the tougher cases Hufflepuff handed him.
Sadly enough for Professor Harry J. Potter, most of those tough cases probably would've thought it “awesome” to run into a dark lord draining a unicorn. Hufflepuffs, the professors generally agreed, were weird.
Case in point, Scorpius Malfoy was attempting to climb a man-eating tree with a look of childish delight and wonder. Thankfully, Harry's own son pulled him away before he could lose another body part (Scorp had lost three toes in a tragic Charms accident his third year, and most of the hair on the front of his head was missing and unable to grow back due to partnering with Fergus Finnegan five years in a row for Potions – Draco Malfoy had threatened Harry with severe dismemberment if his son lost anything else).
Honestly, Scorpius Malfoy had enough problems to deal with, chiefly his name and parentage.
Chapter 5 of Genius Does What it Must
“Professor Snape, such a surprise it is to see you on this fine day!” he chirped, tilting his head back as far as possible to get a slight glimpse of an upside-down Severus Snape. “Whatever are you doing in such a place?”
Snape, Harry was gratified to see, wasn't as laid back as his housemates, as the professor's eye started twitching – just a bit, but enough to make Harry feel appreciated. “What are you and your friends conspiring about?” he asked, giving an extra sneer when he said friends.
Harry totally understood that, he did the same thing when talking about the group he'd just left behind.
“Oh, the usual,” Harry instantly replied, very blasé about it. “Overthrowing society as we know it and enslaving the less worthy. Malfoy, Parkinson, and Bulstrode were arguing over who gets to lead the glorious revolution. The fools think I shall relinquish my power, but they shall learn, oh how they shall learn!” Here he stopped for an evil cackle.
And now, to translate my recommendations journal to del.icio.us.