Spoilers: References to The Miracle Job, The Mile High Job, The Second David Job, The Two Live Crew Job, and The Lost Heir Job.
Summary: Drabble-ish. There are at least ten things that Alec Hardison knows are true.
1. Eliot is way more awesome than Chuck Norris.
1.1. If he ever tries to make a list of 'Eliot Spencer Facts', no one will get it.
1.2. And Eliot will probably punch him.
2. Okay, so the job hadn't gone great (although hey, everybody lived, that's a plus in his book!), but staying up for Wrath of the Lich King was totally worth it.
3. He knows how to spell 'dead', damn it.
4. Dreyfus totally deserved a spin-off.
4.1. If anyone finds out that he still watches Golden Girls, he will be laughed off the Internet.
5. Parker is the coolest girl he's ever met.
6. As much as he loves his nana, the team is pretty much his family.
6.1. Despite this, he probably shouldn't consider Tara the evil step-mother.
6.2. ...which isn't going to stop him from thinking that.
7. Chaos was an asshole, and he totally pwned that douche.
8. If they were the X-Men, Nate would definitely be Professor X, except for when he acts like Cyclops - nobody likes a buzzkill, Nate. Sophie would probably be Emma Frost, he thinks, especially at those times when Nate is Cyclops. Eliot's definitely Wolverine, hands down, and he likes to think of himself as Iceman (only more awesome).
8.1. There isn't really a main X-Man who fits Parker, because there's nobody quite like Parker.
8.2. He likes to think that if you combined the awesomeness of him, Parker, and Eliot, it would make Deadpool.
9. Dude, whatever Eliot says, somebody totally has to fight the injured.
10. He wouldn't trade this for anything.
10.1. That was probably the cheesiest thing he's ever thought.
10.2. He blames whoever left the flatscreen on the Hallmark Channel. Because seriously? The Hallmark Channel?)